One thing constant in and behind my failed relationships has been trusting people blindly. I have been hurt so badly so many times that by now, I should be immune to the pain and hurt that comes along. But, I guess that never happens. Every single incident leaves me cheated, betrayed and sick. That is possibly the only thing I should focus on changing in me before it goes beyond my ways to repair the loss.
That is also the reason why I have very few friends. Very few. And I crib about not having that big gang of buddies who party hard, take holidays together, have house parties…the usual fun and all. Yes, I always whined about not having ‘such’ friends. Until today.
It was just a normal day and then things happened. I could feel myself choked, my eyes all welled up and that sinking feeling in my heart. I wanted to blurt it out to someone. To a friend. I just wanted to be heard. I wanted a friend who could be around me at that time. I wanted that comfort. I tried calling and reaching out to a few, but it could not happen. I decided to spend some time alone in a café and just do nothing. Sitting there, I texted a very dear friend about my bad mood. And then she called. After talking to her for about half an hour, surprisingly, my mind felt calm, at peace, relieved and happy.
That made me thinking…do I really need a big gang of friends?? Or, should I count my blessings and be grateful of what I have??? The answer was right in front of me. I realized I do not need fair-weather friends. What I need and…thankfully, I have, are rough-weather friends or should I say, friends for all seasons…
The names did not take long to pop up in my head when I thought of those I could call at 2 in the night and they will help me out. Ya, very clichéd, but true.
So yes, I don’t need a bunch…four are good for me…
I thought it apt to take this as a way to thank all of them for being there for me in their own special ways. This post is dedicated to them.
Here go my special 4 (in alphabetical order):
· Ashish – I met him at work in a CA firm. He always, ya always, listens to me and my side of story. He has been a witness to my career shift and has supported me all through.
My best moment with him was when he flew down from Mumbai for a very dear friend’s marriage. He had no confirmed ticket and shelled out some fortune to get an airline ticket. All this because I was after his life to come for the wedding as we had not met for a long long time and I had been looking forward to meeting him at the party, having lot of conversations with him, again on my career and a ‘DOA’ love life…
He truly is a gem.
· Chetan – We met during our CA classes and the first day I talked to him was to ask him to drop me home as it was raining and he stayed pretty close to my house. We became really close friends after that. I became good friends with his wife Chetna too. They moved to Australia 4 years back but we have not lost touch. He, without fail for last 4 years, has been convincing me to move to Australia as it offers good life and chances of finding my life partner are high there!! Well, it is very tempting… Also, he wishes me birthday every year when I am thinking he will forget this time…
When he was moving to Australia, I had asked him to visit Opera House whenever he goes to Sydney. My most favourite memory with him is when he called me up from the Sydney Opera House saying he is standing there and it looks beautiful!!
Chetan, you are the best and I miss you calling me ‘Naine’… :(
· Daddaa – He did not take my calls today. The last I spoke with him was couple of months back. His texts have been sporadic. I should be really pissed off with him after all this. But he is my daddaa. He advises me, listens to me, acts like a wall because mostly I am just writing and writing without getting any replies…
I have noticed that he does text back, when I am least expecting it. All the sensible and calming words that I need to hear come in my phone inbox once in a while. Those are my best moments with him.
I am sure he knows what he means to me…
· Mann – She is the one who called me today after I had texted her about my bad mood. We met in our PG course 2 years ago and the friendship took its own sweet time to grow and reach where it is now.
She is wild, wacky yet sensible; a tomboy yet has a beautiful feminine side to her.
My best memories with her are those moments when she was around when I most needed someone. She is very absent-minded when it comes to replying to a text. But God knows how she calls me so fast after reading some awful texts from me.
One such moment was today. She called me when I was least expecting her to call. I thought she would text back at most and that too after like 2 hours…but she did call. Another time, I had texted her when I had broken a ligament. And she called. And on another occasion, just a night before a college presentation when she got to know that my mom was not well, she called me to ask about her. Mann, do you recall this one??
She calls me ‘Nemo’ when she is in a good mood and we call each other ‘grasshopper’ and ‘cow’…God knows why…
Mann, stay around…love you grasshopper!!
As I end this post, my only wish to God is when I read this couple of years from now, the names remain as is…no more and no less. I would definitely make more friends going forward in life but then my bunch is kinda full and complete…
I am very grateful and humbled that atleast I have four to count on…in the world full of people who continue to surprise me…
And ya, a quote that says “Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget” is how I want to end it with... :)
come, let me take you for a coffee someday. :-)
ReplyDeletethanks...sure...some time soon... :)
ReplyDeleteSweet Blog... I don't know what to say...
ReplyDeleteThank u Naina...
thnks to u ashish...all thnks to u...
ReplyDeleten ya i miss Carter Road CCD...wl go thr soon... :)
Loved this post which you have written from the heart, with so much sensitivity, so much depth.
ReplyDeleteOMG--I have been through the same things you have!
It is true--only very very few will really be there for you.
Take care
Love
Preeti
Thanks so very much Preeti!! I am touched. And seriously, I have no words I can thank you in.
ReplyDeleteYes, I am lucky I have these many. And that is what matters to me now. Instead of running after meaningless relationships, I am learning to respect what I have got. Some days really teach you these lessons. This was one such day!
Thanks so much again! Take care. :)