The journey from my last post to this

Last night on a whim I decided to write for my blog for this whole month. I am not sure if and how far I’ll go but I am gonna try for sure. It was mostly coming from a space of restlessness, of having accumulated so much inside me last two and a half years and not being able to put it in words. 

I came to the blog to just check when I had written last, and it was June 10, 2018. I nearly choked reading the date because it was a post I had written two days before mom went into coma. Two days before our lives changed forever. I nearly choked thinking of those two days and how casually I would have called momma two times a day, how I wish it never had happened, and that she had never left. But she is gone, and I have a lump in my throat as I type this, her beautiful framed photo on the bookshelf, watching over me with her loving eyes. 

Now it makes sense to me about why I didn’t get around writing from June 2018 to right now - I really just wasn’t ready. Writing may have been cathartic, as many recommended it to me, but I wasn’t in great mental health to form coherent sentences. I may have drowned myself in a lot of other things (mostly unproductive, not-so-healthy things) to process my grief but I simply couldn’t write. Probably the only long-form content I read during this time was on grief. My bookshelf is overflowing with all the unread books. I remember binge-watching content nights on nights, I remember installing dating apps and randomly chatting up with men I wouldn’t chat with normally, and most importantly I remember abusing my body by eating whatever junk I could lay my hands on. This is quite embarrassing to even write considering how in my last post, I wrote 800 words on my fitness journey. 

But honestly, I didn’t have a mechanism to deal with my grief and food seemed to be a familiar territory that could be my comfort zone. It took me a good one year after mom to understand that she would really not like what I was doing to myself. 

Nothing can prepare you for this, there’s no manual on how to deal with grief. I was functioning on extremely heightened sensitivity. I would be laughing one minute and would drop into a pool of tears the next minute. Whatever I did, wherever I went, there would come a point when I would mentally withdraw and go inward, where there was this huge void staring at me. Let me tell you this still happens, and I am sure it’s gonna stay. Every day there is a point when I stop in the middle of something, either work or cooking or listening to music or talking to my sister or just any unrelated thing, and realize that mom is no more with us. 

Grief is when you have had a perfect day at work and then you lay your head on the pillow at night, only to howl into a silent night and beg her to come back. Grief is when you have put on red lipstick and then another minute you burst into tears because red lipstick was her favorite. Grief is when you are doing Diwali pooja and in the middle of aarti you end up crying because she made Diwali the best festival for us. 

I continue to learn, fail, make wrong choices, have my overthinking overpower my life, cry at the drop of a hat, think I am weak but deep in my heart I now know that I am strong, I am healing and I am trying to bring some purpose to my existence, and that mom would be proud of me. 

The journey from June 10, 2018, to December 1, 2020, has been the longest, most painful journey I have undertaken, something I wish I could undo, but here we are. 

14 things my fitness journey taught me

I have been meaning to write this post for more than a couple of months now but something stopped me every time. Lack of time can perhaps be one of the plausible reasons. But the big reason was that I wasn’t mentally there yet to share what all I had learned, where all I faltered, what were my takeaways and everything in between.

Now, I have gathered courage, time and my share of learnings to share with the world. Please do note that this post is NOT about how to lose weight. Also my opinion is purely mine based on my journey, it may not resonate with you at all. But the idea of this post is to simply tell you my experiences and leave it for you to find out what part of it you can tweak and take in your journey.

Without further ado…

1. It’s not the weight-loss. It indeed is fitness journey.

The moment you make that shift in your brain, your efforts and energy become more focused.

2. That tipping point

A breakup? An upcoming summer trip? No. Not those kinds of tipping points I am talking about. Mine was that number on the weighing scale which I hadn’t ever seen in my life. I was scared of what was in store if I continued my lifestyle that way. And so I had to make a change there and then and onward.

3. Start small

That is, if you are someone who can’t make a complete shift to her lifestyle. I went cold-turkey one morning on all things evil and junk and never quite looked back. However, you can start with one small yet significant change at a time.

4. The Science is simple

You need to be in calorie deficit to be able to lose weight and this doesn’t mean you starve. Just eat less calories than the required calories.

5. Fix your food and then fix how you are going to spend those calories

80% is food and 20% is exercise in getting fitter. Work on your food first and then choose the kind of exercise to expend that energy.

6. Swap it right

Namkeens and biscuits with nuts. Sugar with coconut sugar, honey, jaggery. Desserts with dates. You get the idea.

7. Moderation is THE bomb

Eat white rice or a chapati or drink a beer or two, but remember the portion size. Don’t stuff yourself. You are not going to die if your stomach is 80% full but you’ll definitely be uncomfortable with extra bites you downed in taste.

8. The workout routine

Find something that doesn’t look like a huge task. I did 3 days bodyweight exercises and 3 days brisk walk and run sometimes. I am constantly looking to engage myself in a workout that I enjoy. Right now, I am doing an hour of yoga because of a hurt knee. Explore what all is there and start. Just start with a walk. Join a Zumba or Yoga class. Do bodyweight and functional class because it makes you stronger and increases your stamina. Just always keep pushing boundaries; your body will surprise you with amazing results.

9. Remember it all adds up

Small changes in diet, an hour of physical activity, good 7 hours sleep and one rest day, it all adds up. No kidding on this part.

10. The real enemy

No, potatoes and bananas are not the real enemy. That soft drink, that bag of chips, those fried goodies, those sugar loaded bakery delights, unsupervised amount of pasta, and the likes. Yeah, those are not your friend.

11. The balancing act

I did a low-carb (can’t call it Keto because I did have lot of things that were non-keto) diet but I won’t recommend it anyone. You need to have a balance. Have complex carbs like oats or whole grains along with some source of protein for breakfast. Make your lunch whole with a tiny portion of complex carbs, lot of veggies, some form of protein, dahi and salad. Be free to skip carbs in the dinner completely. You get the drift, right? Stay in balance. Yo-yo or crash diets won’t help you long term.

12. Cheat meal is ok, cheat day is not

By all means go ahead and have a cheat meal once a week or every two weeks but don’t make it the whole day. Having a cheat meal keeps you disciplined. I never had a cheat meal but then I never missed anything.

13. It’s totally the journey

That process of losing inches and fitting into old clothes, that dread to head for a workout and then relishing that sweaty glow. Damn! I have not lost a kg in last few months, but I am enjoying this phase because I never set out with a target timeline in mind. It’s a journey and I intend to keep exploring and getting fitter, one day at a time.

14. Do it for yourself

And for that feeling into old clothes, and for that post-workout sweaty glow. Don’t do it for the partner, spouse, parents, neighbours, colleagues and strangers. And yes, be kind to yourself. It’s your journey. Own every bit of it.

So, tell me what all worked for you, what have been your learnings.

10 Things 2016 Taught Me That No Other Year Ever Did

It is not just another new year’s eve for me. I don’t say it because I am in a different city, away from mote papa and moti momma, not indulging in our new year’s eve staple dinner of pav bhaji and gajar ka halwa and watching Victoria Secret annual show at midnight (although I will do it anyway). I say it because this year broke me emotionally but I am writing about it on the last afternoon of the year means I survived. 

Believe me I drove so many people away because I wasn’t my best this year. But it wasn’t in me really. What is left of me now is a fragile, vulnerable, sensitive mess but I can’t wait for a brand new year to start and feel better and stronger.

What this year taught me will take me sometime to absorb but I wanted to pen down what all I could to look back at it next new year’s eve and smile that I survived. 

1.  That I am not that good with people like I believed myself to be when this year began.

2.  That falling in and then falling out of love is my thing. No, seriously. Don’t believe me? Let’s meet over coffee and I’ll take you through my year’s love snippets. And yes, I still call it all love. 

3.  That money is important. Be it your higher-level dreams of quitting your job, go location neutral, travel and work from wherever you can to middle-class dreams to buy yourself a beer or a coffee whenever you want, load your bookshelf with all the classics you have been meaning to read, fill your closet with beautiful clothes, you need money. If your heart melts looking at kids on the roadside or old people begging and you want to do something about them, which too needs money. This year taught me that having some money in the bank account is a textbook rule to be followed to the T.

4.  That there is no one other than family who will stand by you, maybe because they are supposed to but also because they wish your best in every way. They aren’t and shouldn’t be taken for granted. I could write friends too but they are human and your incessant nagging and sulking can make them lose their shit sometimes and then you will realize you should have had some filter to not burden them with your entire emotional trauma. 

5.  That love is confusing. That sex is underrated. That being friendzoned is a real shit.

6.  That I can stay quiet, without social media apps for as long as I desire. This handicap that I had for being social 24X7 was just in my head. And I broke it. Twice this year. I am on one such detox right now too.

7.  That two people can be good on paper (or in bed) but can still not be together emotionally in the real world.

8.  That I can cook, if it comes to that. And no, not just Maggi.  

9.  That I have spent so many days and nights crying this year, I think I am done and bored with it for life. Next scene please.

10.That I love Bombay more than I ever thought. Even when I am stuck in a traffic jam for a while, the very thought that I am in Bombay is enough to thrill me (yes, I am crazy that way). My new year’s eve is by myself in my favorite city and I couldn’t have asked for anything better. 

Now I have to wrap this up, I have learnt enough lessons this year. Time to lace up the shoes, go to south Bombay, roam the streets, eat lot of street food (because salary isn’t in yet and I am broke, ya tell me about it), sit at Marine Drive and ring in the new year. A new year in a new city, with new hopes (don’t kill me for the clichés, that’s my current state of mind).

Happy 2017 to all of you! Eat, drink, make love not war, and do some yoga too! :)

McLeod Ganj Escapades - 5 Meals Worth Going Back For

Now, I may not be the only one who travels for food. I am sure there will be many like me but believe me when I say that when I am traveling solo, once I start my day, a major part of planning is where to eat. I feel like packing in lot of places and meals in already crammed time schedule.

On my very recent trip to McLeod Ganj, my agenda was very clear - ‘Hog till you drop’. Friends, colleagues, strangers and anyone who cared to share, had given me an impressive checklist of things to do which obviously included arduous treks. And that was conflicting with my secret agenda. And guess what won? My agenda, of course. Chuck the treks, catch the cafés, was going to be my modus operandi. Period.

So, if McLeod Ganj happens to be on your list anytime soon, then do try these and you can thank me later. As for me, I am definitely going back to McLeod just for the food and have a rewind of these fab 5. And more.

1. Spiciest Egg Fried Rice, 8 Auspicious Him View Hotel (with their trademark red chilli chutney)

My stay at this beautiful, cozy place requires another post. For now, I can just say that my craving for a normal-ish egg fried rice was answered by this plateful of hot, spicy fried rice with generous portion of scrambled egg thrown in the middle. This, delivered in my room, with pitter-patter of rain out in the balcony, has to be one of my best meals there.

2. Cheesy Gnocchi Fungi, Jimmy’s Italian Kitchen

Slightly expensive compared to other cafés and if you are on a budget, but like a third of a cost from a nice Italian restaurant in Delhi. And food? This Gnocchi was right cheese, right warm and just very right melt in the mouth kind.

3. Hot hot hot Momos and Fruit Beer, Tibet Kitchen

It was a big recommendation from a good friend. And I was so not disappointed. The best momos I have had (not kidding, I know my momos well!) and tangy lemon beer was such a killer combo. All this in about 130 bucks. And since I couldn’t finish the whole plate, 4 pieces made for my dinner too. Value for money, I say!

4. Chocolatey Peanut Butter Cake, The Clay Oven

I love sweets but I don’t usually go ordering a cake slice on a lazy evening in the hills. But that’s just what I did. With a honey ginger lemon tea. A definite must-have. While sitting outside in the balcony, looking at the rush of the main square, biting in to the cake and listening to music. Stuff trips are made of!

5. Authentic Belgian Waffles, Illiterati Books and Coffee

The coolest café I have ever been to in my life. The coolest owner, a Belgian, and a wonderful staff. Waffles that will make you forget all other waffles that you may have had. And did I mention that the place has the most amazing views in the whole area? I discovered it just a day before I was to head back home. Next time, I know where to plot my ass all day. 

Suffice to say, the trip was wonderful and delicious. McLeod Ganj is full of big, small and hole in the wall kind of places to eat at and I have a feeling that none of them disappoint. 

And if you travel to eat, do keep McLeod on your list. Move it up on the list, if I may say so. You will be surprised and charmed! 

Promise to be back with more travel tales soon! 

When the coffee was not brewing...

Well, another year is drawing to a close and I admit I spent far less time in this house than I would have wanted. However, I do have pretty good reasons of not been able to give time here because there were things, people and experiences that needed my attention and time.

1.      Until 2013 end, I kept saying I want to learn a new language. Like many resolutions I have made in the past, I knew where this one was headed too. To be broken. But 2014 started and I enrolled for Spanish classes. Long way to go on this road but at least I made a start.

2.      My little sister, Zingy, got married this year. Before the wedding, time went by in shopping, planning and post wedding, missing her! Sigh..

3.      And so, my solo travel began finally. From cool climes of Manali to warm dusty roads of Gujarat and then to the lazy beaches of Goa. Just the beginning, I say.

Lip-smacking food, gorgeous scenery. I shall always be the one who travels for food.

4.      I ate, drank and basically made merry.

If all this kept me busy, I ain’t complaining at all. But yes, I do promise (an earnest one at that) that I shall write about these things more. I promise to bring you more stories from my travels, eat-outs and all the things that you would like to read about. There!

Let 2015 be - Travel. Eat. Read. Learn. Dance. Laugh. Write. Repeat. Wishing you all a very happy new year!

Sex and the City guide to men, life and more.

Now, I must confess something at the onset. I have been a huge fan of the sitcom Sex and the City and I secretly aspire to be India’s answer to Carrie Bradshaw (well, not so much of a secret anymore!).

Having established my allegiance towards the show, I can safely say of all the sitcoms dished out, SATC comes quite close to understanding women, voicing their latent fears and comprehending their wildest fantasies. It is like an institution of sisterhood or an unofficial holy book of sorts for single women across the world, holding true even after a decade it aired last.

Personally, I have evolved a lot with each season of the show, just like the characters did. Their struggles, stories, fights, flings and friendship, it was all-consuming. I was living with them, passively. I admire this show for its sheer honesty and guts. It puts it all upfront for all of us to see, a woman’s anxieties and her challenges. And you cannot help but believe in them.

I believe we all somewhere would identify, however partially, with either of the four lead women in the show, Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte. We all carry one or some of the traits of these women. Watching it, you cannot help but relate to them in one way or other. There are things you could see Carrie doing wrong and you would want to advice her not to. Or, you would want to tell Charlotte to not be so gullible. Or, you would admire Samantha for her devil-may-care attitude. Or, you would wish Miranda was a little more receptive towards her own emotions.

So, when a show is bordering on such realism yet fantasy, it must have got some things we all could take help from and appreciate. Some of the things that SATC has taught me are akin to having a best friend around and let her explain life lessons to you when you need them.

1.     Men will come, men will go. Don’t sweat over the wrong ones because the right ones will ultimately find a way back to you. Case in point, Mr. Big (how much of an asshole he may have been to Carrie), Steve and Harry.

2.     Girlfriends as soulmates and boys as the ones you have fun with. It is really that simple to sort through your life’s all pains and heartbreaks.

3.     Dating is fun, dating is cool and dating is sexy. I almost want to go out on a fabulous date right now!

4.     You, your life, your choices first. Be it the choice to commit or back out in a relationship, to get pregnant, to sleep around or to put career first. These women stumble but then make their choices their way

5.     Sex, as noun or a verb, is not bad. It is as important or as essential as sleep, food or shelter. Just one of the things our body needs.

6.     Ditching girls’ night out to go on a date is so not cool. Oh yeah!  

7.     Age is ACTUALLY just a number. True it’s a sitcom and that too set in New York but hey, things are shaking up in India too. Well, for starters the one writing this is in her 30s, single and a wannabe Carrie!

8.     Spend on style but do save money. Because seriously, you don’t want to be that old woman who lived in her shoes.

One of the many things that Carrie says, this one comes right at the end of the season finale, almost like summing up the whole series:

'The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.'

And I couldn’t help but wonder would you all agree with me here? J

Of Autumn, Shiuli and Durga.

Dusk sets in early. 

Conch shells in the background. 

New season tugs in.

Her big kohled eyes. 

Shiuli adorns the neck.

Durga is in me.

She is the power.

Hymns invoking Her presence.

She and I are one.

Solo travel and a bagful of emotions

This post has been chosen as Blogadda's Tangy Tuesday pick! :-) 

 ‘One week!? What are you going to do alone for 1 week?’

‘Why didn’t you ask any of your friends to accompany you?’

These and many such questions were thrown at me as soon as everyone got to know about my first solo trip. Honestly, I was more amused than irritated with this volley of questions.

Those who know me know that I am usually very happy within myself. I mostly keep myself entertained with incessant blabbering and louder-than-humming singing. Almost all the weekends I take off in Delhi to be with myself. I eat, listen to music, look around, hear people talk, read a book, savour coffee and come back home at night. So, I am pretty used to spending time with myself. However, seven days in a new place with no one to talk to, now that was new. I knew I would sail through yet there was this unknown barrage of emotions going inside me. And what’s amazing is the progression these emotions went through over a period of seven days on an imaginery EQ scale!

The trip started with anxiety. I was not scared but anxious. Of what? Frankly not so much for the stay and everything in between. But traveling alone in Volvo from Delhi. There were questions swimming in my head about the co-passengers, on what if I am the only one in the bus (silly but hey it was my first trip!), on what if I can’t control my even otherwise uncontrollable bladder for the long journey. But when I entered the bus I remember I smiled really ear to ear. Because it was full of families, kids, group of friends, couples and all of them beaming with noise. I liked that. And I contently took my window seat. J

Next was this feeling of panic. How will I control my motion sickness, what if I feel the need to puke, who will take care of me and all that. I forgot to take the motion sickness tablet in time. Took it long after the bus had started on the altitude mainly because it was dead in the night and I realized it only when I woke up feeling quite eeky. Once I took it I felt better. I kept closing my eyes, tried to catch sleep so as to not focus on the movements of the bus. This way I missed great views outside many a times but it was the only way I knew to handle it. But yes, at eight o’clock next morning, I reached Manali without a hitch! J

Once there, first it all started sinking in that I was no longer in Delhi, that there were no office calls to be taken, that I could do whatever I wished to, that I am not answerable to anyone at least for this one week, that feeling of not knowing what to do next day. This feeling of nothingness was a first for me for I am quite used to loading myself with unnecessary emotional baggage. But this? This was a breath of fresh air. Waking up at my time, reading till late, going for long walks, setting the day’s agenda as I desired was so cool beyond words. It was like I was free of all the garbage of feeling I had been holding on to.

On my home stay lady’s suggestion, I set out for Rohtang. Little knowing the altitude or anything of the place. The trip started good and all through it was like picture postcard slideshow. Every frame was so gorgeous that you needed to have your eyes and cameras open. Me? I just kept swallowing orange candies to not feel the motion sickness because the altitude was the highest I have ever been to. But once I reached Rohtang, it was like a world I had never seen before. Snow and so much of it. I was on my own, roamed about, took a mountain bike ride, chatted with the bike driver, ate hot maggi, feasted my eyes on the all white snowy envelope and there, I had this amazing feeling that I did it. I braved the motion sickness and traveled alone to witness this gorgeous sight.  This feeling of freedom was my first taste of real freedom and now I know what travel does to you. It sets you free.

On the return journey, again I was just being too cautious of the motion sickness and kept having the candies to keep myself busy.  Somewhere past midnight, the bus reached the plains. I was kind of up, listening to an A. R. Rehman number on repeat. And right then, the moment I opened my eyes widely and looked out and saw the plains, I felt my eyes moist. A couple of tears might also have fallen down. I choked too. It was like I felt I had finally accomplished this small little feat of traveling solo first time, overcame the altitude sickness, explored a new place, met amazing people, had great food,  marveled at breathtaking views and kept myself good company. This feeling of accomplishment was something I have had after a long long time. A feeling that no academic, professional or personal success had ever brought me.

So this was me. Tell me, have you too gone through these? Or was I the only one? What was your baggage like? J

5 Bollywood songs for the singleton's soul

This post has been chosen as Blogadda's Tangy Tuesday pick! :-) 

For years I have been listening to the mush that Bollywood dishes out, with no complains. And not just the mush, but the sad tearjerkers too for the times when my life seemed a sinking boat. A little too dramatic but that’s how I see myself as! I always need a background score to keep me going.

But all this isn’t working anymore for a couple of reasons. First, I am not in love per se. And second, I am kinda out of the sad ones too. My playlist literally was looking at me clueless. There was no pattern to what I was listening. Music is very important to me and Bollywood plays an important role. So, I browsed my backup and found these 5 songs that seemed to work for me rather brilliantly.

Why, you ask? Because first, there is no love connection being discussed here or a broken heart, mourned. Second, in each of this I could see a little of me every single time I heard them. Most importantly, these are for the free birds, the independent at heart ones. These make you feel liberated and alive. All the songs are about you, your life so they definitely help to up your spirits. There will be one that fits you. For me, all five work. Hence, sharing with you all. J

So play these away:

1.     Patakha Guddi (Highway)

Nothing tops the list than this one. The song takes you to another world. Where there are mountains, highways, quietude, you and just you.

My favorite lines from the song are:

Tu toh paak rab ka baanka
Bachcha raaj dulaara, tu hi

Maalik ne jo chinta di toh
Door karega woh hi

2.     Ilahi (Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani)

This is when there is humdrum of city life all around and you are kind of finding your identity in it.

These lines strike a chord with me immensely:

Kal pe sawaal hai jeena filhaal hai

Khaanabadoshiyon pe hi jaane kyun

Ilahi mera jee aaye aaye

3.     Der lagi lekin (Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara)

Not that I have had any enlightening experience so far, though I wait for my Eureka moment even now, but this song is so much about growing up, owning up the mistakes, coming of age kinds.

I love these lines for the larger meaning they hold:

Hai koi, jo yeh mujh se keh gaya

Yeh kahaan tu reh gaya

Zindagi toh hai jaise kaarvan

Tu hai tanha kab yahaan

4.     Aaj kal zindagi (Wake Up Sid)

This is a super peppy, uber positive and very young at heart song. That joy of going to a job you love, doing every day things is shown so nicely in this, hence watching the video is necessary here J

My favorite lines:

Tere liye nayi hai zameen naya aasman

Likh de hawaaon mein koi nayi dastaan..

5.     Dil dhadakne do (Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara)

Peppy, fast and with lyrics that would push you to go and do what you have been wanting to but have managed to procrastinate so far.

Don’t believe me? Here, the lines:

Kab tak ginein hum dhadkane
Dil jaise dhadke dhadakane do
Kyun hai koi aag dabi
Shola jo bhadke bhadakane do 

Do you have a favorite too? Which one? Do tell!

It must have been something...

Must have been some day,

Some spring evening possibly.

With the falling leaves outside,

The heart fluttered albeit consciously.

Your almond brown eyes spoke

Yet you never said anything.

Your warm and familiar smile,

Was both unsettling and comforting.

Every coffee we never shared,

And many jokes we cracked.

Every dance we never attempted.

And walking steps we tracked.

We mayn’t have a chance.

We may have moved apart.

There’s something you must know.

You quite had my heart.

A smile can bring you near..to me.

Some days back I had updated my profile picture on Facebook, it being a picture where I had my mouth ‘not open’. No smile, nothing. And then many said they like me when I smile. Ok. Today I updated the profile picture again and this time, the smiling me. People liked it sure.

A friend messaged me this - ’Lovely familiar smile again. Never put any pic without this trait of your personality. I would refuse to recognize you. your eyes open up and as a window to your soul when you smile..have seen this happening in very few people. Cuz most people smile in a plastic way.’

Trust me I do get compliments for my smile but until sometime back, I used to feel a little uneasy to accept and internalize them. Because I believed I didn’t have the beautiful smile. With a little weird bunny rabbit kinda teeth, I felt awkward while smiling. And I still cannot place it on how it changed and how my coy, uncomfortable, showing only 2 teeth perhaps smile changed to a wider, ear to ear, straight from the eyes & heart kind of smile.

Was it that what the world thinks of me mattered less and less? I guess so. Was it that the eyes and heart took over the bunny teeth somewhere? Yes. Was it that I got confident of myself over the years? Hell, yeah!

Okay, now that you know I smile and I smile a lot, there are some not-so-known facts behind that smile of mine, when I am posing for pictures:

·        My mom, if she is around when I am posing, always without fail asks me to shut my mouth and smile just a little

·        Some people, not the ones who matter and may be because they are jealous that I look good when I smile, always frown at me posing if they happen to be around

·        Every single time I update a smiling picture, I get messages, from the ones who matter like the one written above, that they love when I smile. No, no. I am not a celebrity yet! ;)

·        I know when I am smiling, it shows in my eyes. How? I don’t know but I just know it

·        I can never ever fake a smile that wide. Really I can’t!

·        I smile at my own smiling pictures every time I look at them

·        For me, there is no mid-way smile. Either I just shut my mouth, which looks like I have a bad mood or something or I smile the widest. Just doesn’t come to me!

·        I feel it indeed is becoming my trademark 

·        It makes me confident every single time

·        This smile just reminds me I am beautiful and have a good heart

And if you are still wondering, how does that go, that wider smile? Here..

To close my case, just to validate my point, found this on the web:

‘Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes, that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts.’ 

Are you also smiling right now? Let me know!